The graceful guest is upon us yet again. Growing up in a fairly large family, I was always excited when Ramadhan was on. More for the abundance of food, fresh fruit and the lively family spirits, Alhamdulillah. Never did I ever Imagine, It would one day be my turn to plan, organise, cook and make sure everyone is okaY, Subhanallah. Well as a wife and mother, this Ramadhan, I would like to inspire what I have learned over the past year. About how as wives, mothers and daughters we should maximise the few hours when we aren't fretting about everyone else. 1. Quran, aside from reading it at suhoor, we could put the player in the kitchen and have it recite, we can also recite along as we go over our chores. lately smart phones are the rage, change the content to Quran. Every minute of Thikr counts! 2. Dua, while going about our daily chores, as the kids play and we fuss over them, we should make dua together as a family. 3. Sadaqa, lets face it, we usually leave this to the men since we rarely leave our homes. But May Allah enable us give sadaqa in our own capacity and one of the ways I know how is by inviting (with the husband's permission of course) one person to break fast with everyday for the whole Ramadhan. for in the Ummah, we believe that what is enough for one is enough for two. Subhannallah 4. Good skin. Yes am a lady Alhamdulillah and the good old trick of drinking enough water when breaking fast and at Suhoor works. Plus always keep a bottle of moisturiser on hand. it helps to sooth the skin especially after wudhu 5. Challenge yourself to go for taraweh this Ramadhan. 6. Last and MOST important, before you stock up on your home, stock up for your parents with groceries and Dua in Shaa Allah. May Allah accept our Ramadhan, In shaa Allah

Shamirah's Ramblings

The age of selfies.
7:00pm, is an hour that reminds me, rather nostalgicaly how I miss sitting on my mothers lap while the old man told tales and usually wound up with a wise saying.
I live and work in a generation quite facinated by electronic gadgets that are fast replacing human relationships along with their wisdom.
Selfies! One other activity that has taken the fancy of many when they take their own photo using a phone or such other handy devices.
Usually positioned to capture their best angle, so reveal such aspects of their beauty to whomever cares to see.
And so while I took my own first selfie, I was quite impressed with the outcome.
However as I use 's I wondered if this selfie business should be carried a notch further. What if in the camera of life namely the eyes of those we cared about, we positioned more than our looks?
What if we put our best actions foward especially in uplifting humanity?
Then and only then would it be truly fulfilling to take selfie 's so to speak

Art Quote of the Day Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. LEONARDO DAVINCI

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

coming up with the next big idea

(MoneyWatch) COMMENTARY There's no magic formula for coming up with the next big thing, and there's no shortage of people trying. Luckily, there doesn't appear to be any shortage of demand for innovative ideas and products.

Having been around entrepreneurs, startups, and innovative companies my entire career, I've seen quite a few methods that seek to foster innovation. Here are eight "innovation catalysts" that really work:

Standing on the shoulders of giants. Innovators often elevate others' ideas into products people can use. There's a device called a ScareCrow that detects pesky animals like birds or rodents and shoots water at them. It's actually a motion sensor combined with an impulse sprinkler. It works, it's relatively inexpensive, and it's ingenious because there's nothing new; it's just two inventions used together in a unique way.

Unintended consequences. More often than not, products go viral or succeed for different reasons or uses than originally intended by their entrepreneurs. McDonald's (MCD) started with a hotdog, not a burger. Mark Zuckerberg's first stab at Facebook, dubbed Facemash, was to rate whether female Harvard University students were hot or not. Google's (GOOG) founders created a search engine, but the company's remarkable business success comes entirely from an advertising business model.

Think different. MP3 players, smartphones, and tablet computers were around long before Apple (AAPL) introduced the iPod, iPhone, and iPad. But Apple doesn't develop products the way other companies do. It ignores the status quo, doesn't use focus groups, and when it outsources functions it manages them meticulously, like a vertically integrated company. Apple doesn't look at competitive devices and ask, "How can we make it better?" It asks, "What do people really want to do that they can't" -- and delivers.

Innovators don't see different things -- they see things differently
Where does innovation come from?
Unusual origins of 15 innovative companies

Meet customer needs, one step at a time. Sony (SNE) was originally a radio repair shop. Toyota (TM) made looms. Nokia (NOK) was a paper mill. IBM (IBM) sold weight scales, meat slicers and coffee grinders. Xerox (XRX) made photographic paper. Sometimes, you just start somewhere, put one foot in front of the other, and end up somewhere else entirely. It helps if you follow the needs of your customers.

It's not the end; it's the beginning. Some people and companies have a great idea or develop a unique product, become incredibly enamored with what they've managed to come up with, and promptly sit on it. Kodak (EK) actually invented the digital camera. Tivo (TIVO) lost control of digital video-recording technology. Stanford Research (now SRI) and Xerox PARC had loads of inventions that were commercialized and popularized by others. And don't even get me started with RIM (RIM) and its BlackBerry smartphone. Once you've come up with something, don't stop -- keep innovating.

A focus group of one. Some people have a unique ability to intuit what customers want before they even know it themselves. Others have flashes of inspiration that come from who-knows-where. How do you know if someone in your organization has some of that Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein magic going on? I don't know, but for some people and organizations a focus group of one is all you need.

Fish or cut bait? Sometimes you've got to have a sense for when to keep going and when to quit. How do you know? I've heard everyone from top venture capitalist Steve Jurvetson to Oracle (ORCL) CEO Larry Ellison essentially say that, to be a successful entrepreneur, you need to be prepared for 100 people to tell you you're an idiot. I guess that means fish ... and keep fishing.

Brainstorm. Brainstorming has become a watered-down term in business. Like any process, there are a few ways to do it right and many ways to do it wrong. Nevertheless, if you get the right people in a room, the right leader, the right goal, ask the right questions, and use the right methodology, you'd be amazed what you can come up with. I know, that's a lot of rights, but believe me, it can be done

its just common sense

its very common for people to assume sense is common and yet we are victims of the lack of it at one time. when especially we are managers, we tend to take the high ground on many issues and overlook simplicity that makes a lot of sense. well, back to basics here are a few tips on common sense ...
Don’t be afraid of the phrase, “I don’t know”. If you don’t know the answer, don’t try to bluff. If you’re at fault, take the blame. If you’re wrong, apologize. A wise person once said, “if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember which lies you told to which person.”

Never gossip. If someone wants to gossip with you, politely say you’re not interested. Remember the old adage, “when someone gossips, two careers are hurt – the person being talked about, and the person doing the talking.”

No task is beneath you. Don’t think you are above anything. Pitch in – especially if the job is one no one wants to do.

Share the credit whenever possible. Leaders who spread around credit look much stronger that those who take all the credit for themselves.

Ask for help. If you think you are in over your head, you are. Ask for help before things get out of hand. Besides saving yourself an embarrassment, you make a friend and ally.

When you don’t like someone, don’t let it show. Never burn bridges or offend others as you move ahead.

Let it go. What shouldn’t happen often does: you weren’t given the project you wanted, you were passed over for a promotion you thing you deserved. Be gracious and diplomatic – and move on. Harboring a grudge won’t advance your career.

When you’re right, don’t gloat. The only time you should ever use the phrase “I told you so”, is when someone says to you “you were right, I really could succeed at that job”.

These are some great common sense bits of wisdom. Use them, and watch you life, career and business blossom

print copy ... now out!

Advice is one of the hardest challenges...

Entrepreneurs are the driving force behind creating and growing new businesses. All too often, they are also the people holding them back.

The abilities that can help you launch a business are not the same as those you need to help it grow. It's vital not to fool yourself into valuing your own abilities too highly. It is likely that you'll need training to learn the skills and attitudes required by someone who is leading growth.

To grow your business, you need to learn to delegate properly, trusting your management team and giving up day-to-day control of every detail. It's all too easy to stifle creativity and motivation with excessive interference. As the business becomes more complex, you also need to develop your time management skills and learn to focus on what's really important.

As your business grows, you may need to bring in outsiders to help. You'll want to delegate responsibility for particular areas to different specialists, or appoint a non-executive director or two to strengthen your board. As you start tackling a new opportunity, someone who has experience of that activity can be vital. its at this point that entreprenuers see themselves as little Ainsteins! they become oblivious to advice!

For many successful entrepreneurs, learning to listen to - and take - advice is one of the hardest challenges they face. But it may also be essential if you are going to make the most of your opportunities. Some entrepreneurs, recognising their own limitations, even appoint someone else to act as managing director or chairperson

Time management!

When something new comes up, whether it's a request from someone or a new project or idea, before you say "Yes" to yourself or others look at your schedule and ask yourself, "Can I take this on right now?"
If it's not scheduled into your routine then chances are you don't have the time for it. Instead, schedule that activity or task for a future time. Make an appointment for this task or activity. Put it on your wish list. Otherwise, you'll find yourself doing everything except what you had originally intended.
This rule does have some flexibility. I took the extreme position in order to emphasize the importance of maintaining your focus and keeping your eye on the prize and your goals. So, use your best judgment. If the task that is pulling you away from you initial intention is considered a priority (a family situation, an emergency, a unique opportunity that supports your goals, an externality, a customer who is only able to meet with you at a certain time and not meeting with them can cost you their business, etc.) then clearly do it.
One of my clients recently had his second child. Now, let’s face it. All bets are off when have a newborn. After all, what's more important than that? If that's your priority then just own it, accept it and don't feel guilty for not honoring your routine. Something is going to have to give, even if that means taking time away from another activity in your routine.
Sometimes, life has a tendency to get in the way of our plans (no pun intended). However, these sudden jolts to your routine are usually temporary rather than long term. These occurrences are simply another opportunity to adjust your routine.
Exercise caution when choosing to engage in activities that will divert you from your planned activities. If you find that you are constantly being diverted from your routine, then you may be an adrenaline junkie and love the rush.
Regards . Shamirah

office fashion!

You will never get a second chance to make a first impression. no matter how good you are. when at work, how you carry your self is a reflection of what you feel inside. what you wear is a translation of what you think about your self.

with all this weather change, I find myself pulling and tugging at my clothes either for warmth or for fresh air. Yet no matter the weather, I must stay within the confines of my dress code - abaya. I am a lover of fashion but chose not to be a slave to it. I like the simple things in life and enjoying a good breeze or a sun kiss even when am at my desk,hard at work should not be made difficult by what am wearing, .

One thing I forgot to mention I love color and living on the edge. a few ideas for the working woman I know Monday is one of those days ... lift your spirits by what you are wearing ... no matter how hard my day gets, I am consoled by the fact that i feel and look good. Masha Allah, when you are alive, enjoy every bit of it, how ever small fashion a factor is, it makes a whole lot of difference.

Richard Branson: Conjuring Up The People Factor

Nicki McKenzie, of Malaga, Western Australia, asked: “If you were to list your top five rules for achieving success in business, what would they be and where would the ‘people factor’ come in?”

And on behalf of her students studying business at the high school level, teacher Annette Moran of Wavell Heights, Queensland, asked me a similar question.

The “people factor” appears over and over on my list of top five tips. It is the basis of many entrepreneurial successes and, because many business leaders discount it, innumerable failures.

While the current thinking in business schools holds that all someone with an idea needs to succeed are focus, clarity and a good business plan, I have found that bringing together a great team that’s united by strong motivation, determination and bravery is much more important. Let’s look at how to get started.

FIND GOOD PEOPLE

The successes of Virgin businesses such as Active, Atlantic, Money and Mobile were all based on our assembling a great management team that had a vision, passion and a real sense of ownership.

Specifically, we look for leaders who have the ability to listen to feedback from employees and customers - this is crucial to keeping a service or product fresh and innovative. Often, when things start going wrong, you’ll notice that the staff members feel they are being ignored and good ideas are not bubbling to the top.

Leaders should have the character to make tough decisions and the passion and ability to inspire their staff and carry them through difficult times. Our best CEOs tend to be unconcerned about the size of their office or the thickness of the carpet. REALIZE THAT THE EMPLOYEES ARE THE BUSINESS

A successful business isn’t the product or service it sells, its supply chain or its corporate culture: It is a group of people bound together by a common purpose and vision. In Virgin’s case, we fly the same planes as our competitors and our gyms offer much of the same equipment as other gyms. What separates our businesses from the competition? Our employees.

The best designed business plan will come to nothing if it is not carried out by an enthusiastic and passionate staff. This is especially true when things go slightly wrong; a friendly and proactive team can often win people round, averting a potential disaster or even turning it to your benefit.

Earlier this year, a Virgin America flight was diverted from New York to an airport in nearby Connecticut due to bad weather. The passengers were stuck on the plane for many hours while the small airport struggled to cope with the huge number of extra planes. It took far too long.

Afterward, CEO David Cush himself called many of the passengers to apologise, which may have helped to give those customers a sense of all the Virgin staffers who had been worrying about them and working to fix the situation.

LOOK FOR THE BEST IN YOUR PEOPLE - LAVISH PRAISE, NEVER CRITICISE

Rather than focusing on mistakes, a leader needs to catch someone doing something right every day. If this culture of fostering employee development through praise and recognition starts at the top, it will go far toward stamping out the employee fear of failure that can stunt a business, particularly in its early days. When mistakes happen - which is inevitable - I always take the position that you have to learn from them and try not to dwell on what went wrong. It’s almost always better not to go over the obvious with the people involved. They know exactly what happened.

DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY

We at Virgin pride ourselves on trying to find the fun in our businesses, by which I mean that we try to ensure that both our staff and customers feel a real sense of warmth and affection.

I have led from the front on this - dressing up in costumes, trying all manner of stunts (not all going 100-per-cent right!), and generally showing that I do not take myself too seriously. My approach will not work for all businesses, but keeping a sense of perspective and not allowing management to be seen as aloof will help keep your staff onside.

To foster employees’ sense of warm, personal interest in clients’ needs, it’s crucial to ensure that everyone who works with you enjoys what he or she is doing, which means that everyone must be proud of the company. This is vital to building lasting success and ensuring your service has an edge over the competition.

To find employees who will take such an interest in our customers, we look for people who show genuine enthusiasm and character.

We have a bit of an advantage over our competitors, partly because of our brand and partly because our roots include having hired people to work in the music industry, and now aviation and space, all of which attract real enthusiasts.

JUST DO IT

Finally, to succeed in business, you must have the bravery to give it a go. Starting a business is a big risk; an entrepreneur needs resolve and conviction to overcome the early hurdles. Most start-ups fail in the first few years, so a key ingredient of success is the ability to pick yourself up and try again.

If it starts to look like your business is not going to make it, some on your team might start to lose courage. At that crucial time, your knowledge of the people factor may make or break your company.

Richard Branson is the founder of the Virgin Group and companies such as Virgin Atlantic, Virgin America, Virgin Mobile and Virgin Active. Questions from readers will be answered in future columns. Send them toRichardBranson@nytimes.com, including your name, country, email address and the name of the publication where you read the column

Rayah Magazine: Of Teamwork in your Business:

Rayah Magazine: Of Teamwork in your Business:: "I have always wondered why many businesses collapse after the death of the owner. In Africa especially, SME are built around the ideals, dr..."

Of Teamwork in your Business:

I have always wondered why many businesses collapse after the death of the owner. In Africa especially, SME are built around the ideals, dreams and objectives of the owner. The importance of teamwork gets doubly highlighted in the realm of businesses. Delving deeper into the issue of teamwork we see that irrespective of the size of a particular business venture, teamwork among the partners, staff or employees, as may be the case, is of immense importance. Even if it is a small scale business with a modest start up, constructing professional relationships and working together as a team, goes a long way in achieving dynamism and success.

A one man army entrepreneurship is sure to betray a business at some point or the other. Most successful businesses get help and support both from those within and outside the peripheries of the venture. The owner of a business venture must highlight the importance of teamwork by blending it with the company's culture and business methods. Effective networking and working together with other business leaders is a fool proof method of successfully promoting a small scale enterprise.

Teamwork involves the combined efforts of two or more people contributing different skills but sharing the same view point and working towards common aims and goals. Employees of the business must be made aware of the goals set for the enterprise and must work in such a way that catapults the business closer towards meeting these aims and targets. Mutually beneficial interactions and networking with other small business owners can be the perfect antidote to a future of long term struggle.

It is very crucial to incorporate and blend teamwork into one's business culture and working methods. Teamwork incorporates mutual respect for each other's opinions and capabilities, injects a sense of ownership and thus accountability within the employees and allows for honest communication and discussion about the issues dealt by the company.

RICHARD BRANSON: When small-business owners think big

Question: How can a small-business owner go about laying the foundation for a corporate culture like Virgin’s?

Published: 2011/02/14 08:25:44 AM

Q: How can a small-business owner go about laying the foundation for a corporate culture like Virgin’s?

A: Whether you’re launching a new business or preparing to expand your existing one, laying a solid foundation for the future is critically important – bringing in investors, getting your contracts right, hiring your core team members, choosing the right suppliers. The fact that you are thinking about this question shows that you already have a sense of where your priorities should lie and you’re ready to follow through.

To be honest, when my friends and I started the first Virgin business 40 years ago, we had no master plan – especially not one for a group of companies that by 2011 would number more than 400 businesses around the world and employ 50,000 people. Had we tried to plan for such a future, we would certainly have messed it up.

If there is a "right" way to develop your company’s culture, our experience shows that it should evolve organically. In 1970, my friends and I weren’t planning to do anything other than make some money and have a good time while doing something we loved. We loved listening to music, so we tried to sell records to other kids who wanted a fun place to hang out while deciding which ones to buy. We had no marketing plan or budget – our goals were simply to make enough money to pay the rent and our suppliers, and to have some cash left over at the end of the month.

Our launch was really no different from that of most small companies, since few entrepreneurs start thinking about their business’s culture until it is already well established. If I think back to what we did right, it was in our planning process, when we made sure we were having fun working together and that everyone who had a good idea was included in our decision-making process. We had accidentally stumbled on the core elements of a culture dedicated to delivering great customer service! It turned out that people who work in a friendly environment that is tolerant of mistakes, and who are empowered to make decisions about how they do their jobs, arrive at the best possible solutions for serving customers.

When you’re sorting out what your front-line colleagues’ priorities should be, remember that how you treat the customer will form the basis of your corporate culture. Put your staff first, listen to them, and follow up on their ideas and suggestions.

Because you can be sure that every person on your staff already has deep insights into what your customers want and what employees need in order to deliver it. Should they focus on delivering solutions tailored to each customer’s needs? Or on building lasting customer relationships? Or should they quickly deliver the goods or services your company offers? Listen carefully and find ways to empower each person to do a great job. One of my mentors, the late Sir Freddie Laker, was famous for his standard response to any staffer who came to him to whine about something: "Don’t bring me problems, bring

me solutions!" (He could certainly never be accused of running an autocracy.)

Small-business owners often find it tough to learn how to handle success. When a business does well, many chief executives start to focus solely on increasing profits, no matter what the cost – leaving behind everything that originally made the business special. The founder usually moves to a big corner office on the top floor and never again sets foot in the factory. Employees who were integral to the company’s early success suddenly find they are the last to know what is happening, and their views are no longer valued or sought.

So try to ensure your company grows at a comfortable pace and, whenever possible, involve your employees in the company’s evolution. If you are a small-business owner mulling over an expansion, tell all your employees about your plan – include everyone from the truck driver to your senior team – and ask for their input. If you can, it would be best to work out the details of the expansion plan together, taking into account the challenges faced by your employees, and incorporating improvements they would like to make. The ultimate winners will be your customers and the bottom line.

At Virgin, we have never had to struggle with the typical problems of big corporations, probably because we never really got big – we just diversified. Our growth was once described as "vertical disintegration" because our new businesses frequently appear to be tangential or even completely unrelated to our core mission. When Virgin was known for producing and selling records, for instance, we started up an airline.

The traditional corporate response to our typical plan for a new business would be, "I’m sorry, but we’re a ____ company. This business not within our core competency." But we see a uniting factor in our dedication to customer service. Instead of becoming a huge, bloated entity locked into a single sector, these tangential forays have kept our company fresh and different – we are always learning new businesses and recruiting smart new people. Each Virgin company is run by its own largely autonomous management team that relies on the same small-business principles we’ve employed since the very beginning.

Whatever route you decide to take as you expand your business, make sure that it builds on your company’s past successes, and that it fits with the corporate culture and the vision for the future that you and your team have created. If someone says, "That’s not the way a big company would do it," take it as a compliment! ©2010 Richard Branson. Distributed by The New York Times Syndicate

• Branson is the founder of the Virgin Group. He maintains a blog at www.virgin.com/richard-branson/blog. You can follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/richard branson. Questions from readers will be answered in future columns. Please send them to branson@bdfm.co.za and include your name, country, e-mail address and the publication where you read the column.

Customer Service Skills

WE ARE ALL SALESMEN/WOMEN one way or another, but how we do it is entirely another matter. many times we stamp our feet in frustration over how the we have been treated un respectfuly across the counter. Once is enough for us to write off the service as extremely poor and make demands of wanting to see the manager... do we even know that ourselves are sales persons at a certain time 'T' ? Do we even know what good customer care translates to? I find myself wanting to share my thoughts on customer care. here we go...

1. Personal Skills

The first thing I look out for in a customer service rep is the personal skills. A customer service rep must have good intra-personal skills to be able to effectively discharge his/her duty. Patience, discipline, humility, team spirit and a good sense of humor are intra-personal skills a customer service rep must possess for effectiveness.

Aside the intra-personal skills listed above, a good customer service rep must have good appearance; display confidence, always wear a charming smile and speak with a clear voice.

2. Communication Skills

The second customer service skill a rep must possess is good communication skill. A good customer service rep must be able to communicate fluently in the language of the people. This is where bilingual customer service reps come in handy. A good customer service rep must be able to send a message across to a customer or client and that message must be clearly understood by the customer. Body language is also essential in this case.

3. Negotiation Skills

A good customer service rep must be good in negotiating and striking deals with the customer. Since a rep has direct contact or access with the customers; he/she must be a good negotiator.

4. Listening Skills

A good customer service rep must be able to listen with rapt attention and clearly understand the needs, concerns or complaints of the customer before proffering a solution. Customers hate being ignored; nothing annoys a customer more than talking to a less concerned staff.

Sometimes, customers find it difficult to express them clearly; but remember that the customer is always right. It’s your duty as a customer service rep to clearly decode the customer’s message before passing it across to the appropriate quarters and you can’t achieve that if you lack good listening skills.

5. Sales Skills

Sales skill is something I don’t joke with when hiring an employee. Customer service reps are always in touch with the customers so there is a high tendency that they can instigate a sale; that’s if they are good at the game.

Sales skill is an essential customer service skill. A customer service rep with a good knowledge of selling will outperform a rep that lacks sales skills. So work on improving your sales skills; it may become an asset in the long run.

6. Retentive Memory

Retentive memory is a must have for every customer service rep. A good customer service rep must be able to remember loyal customers and address them by their names. A good customer service rep must also be able to recall past discussions and important transactions made. Nothing annoys a customer other than repeating what has already been said; it’s a waste of precious time.

7. Adequate Understanding of the Business products or services

A good customer service rep must have adequate understanding of the business products or services; as this may be the major subject of discussions with customers. If a rep is new on board; the ability to learn quickly is highly essential. You must understand the company’s product and services; its benefits and features like the palm of your hand.

8. Persuasion Skills

The last but not the list customer service skill a good rep must possess is persuasion skill. A good customer service rep must be able to sense a customer’s soft spot and touch that spot. A good customer service rep must be able to win back the heart of lost customers and calm the nerves of aggrieved customers. This cannot be achieved without mastering the art of persuasion.

Persuasion skill is essential for getting the sale and winning negotiations. If you are really interested in developing your persuasion skill; then I will advice you read the “Persuasion Skill Black Book.” It’s the bible for those who want to master and harness the power of persuasion.

As a final note, these are the eight customer service skills a good rep must possess to be effective. But possession of these customer service skills is not restricted to reps alone. Even entrepreneurs, corporate managers and employees need such skills. So if you are lacking any of the customer service skills listed above, it’s advisable you work on strengthening it.

Seeing Sex as Sadaqa...

Turning Sex Into Sadaqa
[an act of voluntary kindness pleasing to God]

"Women shall have rights similar to the rights upon them; according to what is equitable and just; and men have a degree of advantage over them." (Quran, 2:216)

They do indeed! This passage of the Holy Quran was revealed in connection with the rights of women following a divorce, but it also has a general sense. One basic right of every person taking on a contract never to have sex other than with their own legitimate partner is that each spouse should therefore provide sexual fulfillment (imta') to the other, as part of the bargain.

Now, every man knows what sexual things please him--but some men, particularly those who have not been married before and are therefore lacking experience, don't seem to know much about how to give the same pleasure to the woman; even worse, some men do know but they can't be bothered to make the effort. Yet this is vital if a marriage is to succeed and not just be a disappointing burden for the woman, and it is a vital part of one's Islamic duty.

It is not acceptable for a Muslim man just to satisfy himself while ignoring his wife's needs. Experts agree that the basic psychological need of a man is respect, while that of a woman is love. Neither respect nor love are things that can be forced they have to be worked for, and earned. The Prophet (SAW) stated that in one's sexual intimacy with one's life partner there is Sadaqa (worship through giving):

God's Messenger(s) said: "In the sexual act of each of you there is a Sadaqa." The Companions replied: "0 Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?" And he said, "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded." (Muslim)

This hadith only makes sense if the sexual act is raised above the mere animal level.

What is the magic ingredient that turns sex into Sadaqa that makes it a matter of reward or punishment from Allah? .....

more in the next issue of the rayah magazine 2011

2011

And so the time for resolutions is here. Its always amazing how we muse over these things without consideration for fate. this year I want this and that, this much this little. perhaps its the human aspect of arrogance that prompts us to think we control everything. But if you are not satisfied with the simple pleasures in life, you will always reach for the impossible or un necessary. so while you make new resolutions, you ought to put in mind the pleasures life gives and be more realistic with the demands from it! happy 2011 and may Allah continue to shower his abundance upon us.

Rayah Magazine: The hijab at work…

Rayah Magazine: The hijab at work…: "I recently got an invitation to a lecture on the hijab by email interestingly. I thought to myself oh here we go … again! I have heard, ..."

The hijab at work…

I recently got an invitation to a lecture on the hijab by email interestingly. I thought to myself oh here we go … again! I have heard, read and talked about the hijab yesterdays and many more past. But seeing that it was on a weekend, out of my never ending desire to learn and the discipline to listen, off I went.

The first shoe dropped when the lecture was not in defense of the hijab. There was nothing to be defended about it. It was for believing women. Those who disagreed had the lines clearly drawn; they belong to the other side of the coin. [ النور، ٣١ ]  وَقُل للمُؤمِناتِ 

"And say (O Muhammad (SAAW) to the believing women" (Qur'an 24: 31)

The second shoe dropped moments later when the direction of the lecture took on the acceptance or the lack of it, at the work place. Make no mistake; the aggrieved were those who were not ones to wear it at any one time, it simply hurt their eyes, person and generally class to see their hijab adorned colleagues. Here, I got a little jolt in my heart to write home about bits of the lecture I thought I could share with you.

That it’s old fashioned and drab is not one issue I would like to discuss. Fashion and glamour are personal choices. Besides it will be shallow of me to dignify such arguments with a reply. What am interested in is the hypocrisy of the employers who pick on our brilliance and efficiency at the work place (they are blind about the hijab at this point) but find it out of place during the coffee breaks or in the meetings. What you should look at is my work not how I dress.

I will briefly refer to the Qur’an (of course) on the hijab… wear the hijab so you will be known… يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ 

[ الأحزاب، ٥٩ ]  يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَنْ يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ

"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested."(9) (Qur'an 33:59)

I invite ye to appreciate why the hijab adorned woman will be known (or should be known) effortlessly

· For brains- wearing the hijab automatically disqualifies the use of her curves as a tool to get or keep her job. For her, it’s about results. The long yards of cloth will force you to listen.

· For decency – need I say more on this?

· For her unquestioning belief – surely I don’t need to labor you with how those who chose to dress this way are, believing women?

· For her patience- do you know how much patience it takes to wait for someone to stop looking you over before they listen to you?

· For her optimism – the hope is that they will be rewarded in heaven despite them not knowing how heaven looks like or when they will enter its gates. How optimistic can one get?

· For will and character – you must be a person of good character to chose humility over vanity

· For confidence – believe me, it’s at this point that you can tell who is confident of themselves as a whole. Wearing skimpily may translate into a desperate or unconscious attempt at pulling attraction towards you. This may mean you are not confident of what you have to present or that you cannot hold the fort without some borrowed confidence.

· For empathy- it’s believed that men find it hard to control their sexual thoughts on sight of particular bits of the female anatomy. Imagine the hours spent while day dreaming of what you can do if only you got the chance to feel those breasts… those in hijab have empathy for you and your job.

· For discipline – most of you will do something because the over head authority will reprimand you immediately. Has anyone ever seen God? He is the one who told us to dress this way. Following his command without him chasing after us is of utmost discipline.

Before you squeeze into a small corner to gossip about this article, ask yourself why, when upon marriage, women tend to go for longer, lose and more comfortable clothes. Or that, husbands will ask of their wives to change into something “more appropriate” before they leave the house? You may want to reconsider the manner of dress if you are to have a sensible appraisal at work or have someone – anyone take you seriously.

I will take offence at the employer who minds my hijab after them demanding that employees dress decently at work. Besides scoffing at you, I will comfortably assume you are insane, hypocritical or are simply inviting me to sue you.

it is indeed for this reason that I gave my self the challenge to organize the first ever Hijab show in my country.

A dusty summer day....

The challenge of organising an event that is delicate and new in any given society requires humility, patience and persistence aside from the usual requirements of success. I am constantly learning that to get things done, personal interferance is a pre requisite. I read some where that effective time managment interpretes doing the easy things first, delegating those tasks that you can to other poeple. About the delegation, finding someone who shares your passion and ideas is harder than frying ice blocks!
It has been wonderfully hot and since I have spent this beautiful day moving up and down this dusty city, I have not the heart to sift through my picture bank to give you a picture to look at.
However, if you want something nice. Surat ARAHMAN always melts my heart. until then, skimbugwe@gmail.com I will be patiently waiting.